When a Stranger Calls

The phone rings. It's 9:30pm, friday evening. If we are in, it is likely we are about to settle down with a film and a nice bottle of wine, after a week of work.

We don't want any unwelcome intrusions at this time, but pick up the phone thinking it will be something important. And are then greeted with [silence] "...click...." [prolonged pause] and then some idiot in a call centre a thousand miles away, trying to tell us that we could have some 'latest product' that has been around for years, for a price that is very unreasonable, in broken english. The best course of action is to say "yes, i am very intersted. Tell me all about it.", then leave the phone off the hook and go to watch the film. Similar to using pre-paid return envolopes found in junk mail, to return all their own shite back to them. Or turn the tables and offer to sell them something shit.

Call centres. UP YOURS!

Do they ever serve any actual purpose!? They either hassle us without our consent, or put us on hold for prolonged periods of time whilst passing us ''through to the technical department'', who then spectacularly fail at providing even the most basic level of problem solving.

Then there's the automated responses, and the 'press 1 for..., press 2 for...' menu systems. From which they seem to have removed the 'hold to speak to a customer service advisor' option completely, so now you have to select an option not even appropriate to the reason you are calling them. And usually you are only doing so as a last cause of action.

The best course of action, when faced with one of these menu systems, is to press whichever option is linked with new sales. You are guaranteed to be answered far more quickly than with any other option. And then you can surprise them with a 'hello, i want to cancel my contract'. Up. Yours.