Supermarket Sheep

There are some spheres in life where certain people are leaders and certain people are followers. It's 1.30am and I've just returned from Asda, I prefer going then as I have the shop to myself, including the carpark. When I pull in and see an empty carpark save for a few taxis I am not intimidated or in any kind of awe with regard to the situation now confronting me. I can quite happily choose from the hundreds of parking spaces; not too close to the door, not near the trolleys, near a light and, of course, near no one else who might be there.

So what do I find when I come out having purchased various foodstuffs and grooming products?

Some absolute fucking prick has parked next to me.

WTF. I mean come on. I don't really know why people do this so all I can do is speculate. I think it's fear or some kind of capacity shortcoming. Normally when you go shopping it's the polar opposite; you are searching for that elusive space. With the tables turned I think these 'pisspot parkers' are completely overwhelmed by the hundreds of spaces available and are unable to use their own criteria to decide where they want to park... which leads us on to 'Supermarket Sheep'. For 'security' and 'safety' these sheep will try and follow a lone shepherd and park bang in the next parking bay, albeit 30cm away so neither occupants can open their doors fully - not one bay away with a 'buffer zone' free bay in between, fucking right next to you and me. They are scum and there is nothing you can do. You have to assume that as they operate on this level demonstrable by their parking antics that they will probably open their door into yours as you are absent, inside, unaware of the horrors taking place. What's worse is you have no redress. You can't hit back with your well maintained, polished, glass-like paint finish for obvious reasons.

These sheep need shearing. Any takers?